2010 Blog - Post Three

As I sit preparing to write this, I realize it's been eleven days since last I posted. Where does the time go? Seriously, eleven days have elapsed, and I have no recollection of how and where the time went. Nevertheless, we shall move forward.

So, on the 18th Steve and I celebrated our Two Year Anniversary. It's technically been longer than that, but for the sake of clarification and actually just focusing on our present and future and not dwelling on the convoluted past, we decided to just count it from when we officially got "back together" on Jan. 18, 2008. Sadly, we could not spend the day together since Steve had to work and I elect to take the "Floating Holiday" that is MLK Jr. Day. I won't lie and pretend it was ok. I was actually really bummed out all day that I was spending it alone. I realize there are tons of people in this world who spend anniversaries apart from their significant others/spouses for reasons far worse and heartwrenching than mine, but I was still sad. Needless to say, I didn't do anything besides go to the gym that day. I couldn't really bear it, especially because he wasn't even able to get out early and arrived home around 6:30 PM. But he came home bestowing two dozen gorgeous pink and white roses in honor of the occasion claiming there was one rose "for every day we've been together." It's been a while since he's brought home flowers, so I was beside myself. And the card he gave me was just absolutely beautiful so it made up for it a little.

So it's been two years. And I am so lucky to have him. I really am. Not only did he completely save me from myself, but he is just the most amazing person in the world. So it consistently baffles me at how completely ridiculous I can be. I like to think that it's just because I come from crazy argumentative women and was trained to be on edge and defensive. I seriously hope that's the case, and I'm not just crazy. Because I hate that I do things sometimes that make me go, "Jaime, why the hell are you mad at him? Seriously?" I also think my job has something to do with it as well. Literally, for 9 hours a day, I have to be on the defense. I have subcontractors and insurance agents down my back blaming me for whatever's wrong with their insurance certificate. Somehow it's MY fault that they never responded to my request for revision three months ago and now their paycheck is being held for insufficient insurance. It's MY fault that their insurance does not meet our requirements when they signed a subcontract that explicitly highlights our requirements in depth. I'm the mean spirited Wicked Witch of the West, and they're just poor innocent little Dorothy who's just trying to find her way home, and I'm sending out my flying monkeys to inhibit that from happening (this being a metaphor for payment, obviously). I'm not making excuses. I'm just trying to ascertain the origin of my projections. I'm hoping that my outlook and attitude changes once I change jobs, but in the interim, I seriously need to step it up. Steve goals need to be addressed because I don't need two crazy people in the house, and it's not his fault that I'm painted green at work.

Also last week, I started my classes!!! This is huge. HUGE! So I'm not going to lie, it was strange. Going back was just surreal. Going back to the place I did undergrad was even more surreal. So much so, I felt the need to tell the girl in the bookstore I had already graduated and was just taking a supplemental program. I am not an undergrad, thank you very much. Even though I probably look it. Hell, I probably look like I'm in high school. But everyone should know that appearance is not everything. Anyway, I drive to campus, which is weird in and of itself. I felt like a mega tool driving up and parking on Comm Ave. Like, no one drives. Well, the rich study abroad foreign students do. They drive their BMW's around campus, which is equally toolish. So when I drive up with my Saturn, I feel even more like a tool. WHATEVER. I am not an undergrad. I am not an undergrad. Or that's what I kept saying to myself to feel less intimidated as the actual undergrads are walking by. Yes, I am the 25 year old who's still intimidated by people younger than she or her age when they're in my vicinity in groups. Utterly ridiculous, I know.

So, I'm already a little nervous for my first class for the obvious reason of having been out of school for four years. Compound that with the fact that my class is in the Fuller Building. A building that NO ONE ever uses, and I myself had only ever been in once. I walk in and look at the floor plan, hoping to see the elusive "Lab #2" where my class is being held. Much to my dismay, it is not listed. Of course. After walking up and down the hall like three times, I finally use my powers of deduction to theorize where this "Lab #2" may be. BU likes to number its classrooms based on floor numbers. So maybe, just maybe, "Lab #2" is on the second floor. I ascend. I reach the second floor, and my elated hopes at seeing a live person who may know where I need to go are deflated as she looks at me like I have eight heads when I mention elusive "Lab #2." I meander some more. Thank God I had the presence of mind to allow myself time to get lost. I eventually happen upon a Computer Science PC Lab area, but my class is not listed anywhere on the boards indicating up-and-coming classes to be held there. I inquire with some more live people next door who suggest I ask the on-duty lab assistant, who assures me that my class is in fact there. I am not persuaded. Only at 5:55 when the instructor arrived was I assured I was where I was supposed to be. Glad to see BU hasn't changed in four years.

I knew going in, this was going to be my most difficult course. Graphic Design. Crap. Part of what works so famously about Steve and I is that he's the visual one. He's an architect, so he's visually conceptual. I'm the verbal one. I'm a writer. I love words. So the notion of Graphic Design is like Hell. I would honestly rather due mathematical equations than design shit on the computer. Class 1 was rough. Learning the interface of InDesign CS4. WTF is that?! And what's worse, the barely English speaking Asian man sits next to me and decides to ask me and the girl sitting on his other side every time he got lost or confused. I'm sorry buddy, but this class is like my nightmare, and I REALLY need to pay attention. I left the class still kinda excited, but a little deflated. Thank God it's only 7 weeks, and there's 1 down. Six more weeks . . .

Thursday I was revived. First of all, the class is in CAS. Oh CAS. We meet again. Second of all, as sad as I am that the food cart in the basement is no longer, there is an Einstein Brothers bagel shop there instead. Hello large fountain Diet Mountain Dew!!! Third of all, the class is TOTALLY my speed. It is "Business of Publishing." Lecture. Notetaking. Discussion. YES!!! Notes!!! I LOVE taking notes. OMG. I'm like a masochist. Notes make me feel better. Words. Joyousness. And I learned A LOT in my first class. Not only that, but I got really excited about my final project. The instructor gave us five options for our final projects. One of which being designing a business plan for a subscription-based magazine. Dude! I can so use this course as a vehicle for my future career choices. I can do my final project about the magazine I want to create! How perfect! I left class that night on cloud nine. This will be ok. I'll be ok. I will not let Graphic Design get me!

My only issue is my workout regiment. I hate having my days off be my class days. Since I obviously can't go to the gym on Tues and Thurs, I had to manipulate my workout schedule on the alternate 5 days, which works out fine for Mon and Wed. But Fri is tough. Friday was always Steve and my flub day. We're both tired and unmotivated on Fri. Needless to say, we didn't go to the gym Fri, so I had to double up Sat, and that meant I had three days off last week, not two, which doesn't bode well with me. I also have been thinking, what the hell am I going to do when I have stuff going on on weekends where I can't get to the gym? Obviously, I'll have to work around it. It's just going to be really tough. And I thought today about maybe doing combination days when I'm in school, but I hate combination days. I feel like I don't make enough progress. I'll just have to play it by ear I guess. And just try and be REALLY good at my eating to counter it. So much to do!!!

And lastly, as a random sum up, no, I haven't made any doctor's appointments yet. And no, I haven't been going to bed earlier. I know. I know. BUT I am making progress financially. I should have my credit card paid off by March (yay!) and the second one not long after, with the help of my tax return. Come on Cigna and send my proof of health insurance already!!! I hate having all these forms. Oh well, another week begins!