2010 Blog - Post Three

As I sit preparing to write this, I realize it's been eleven days since last I posted. Where does the time go? Seriously, eleven days have elapsed, and I have no recollection of how and where the time went. Nevertheless, we shall move forward.

So, on the 18th Steve and I celebrated our Two Year Anniversary. It's technically been longer than that, but for the sake of clarification and actually just focusing on our present and future and not dwelling on the convoluted past, we decided to just count it from when we officially got "back together" on Jan. 18, 2008. Sadly, we could not spend the day together since Steve had to work and I elect to take the "Floating Holiday" that is MLK Jr. Day. I won't lie and pretend it was ok. I was actually really bummed out all day that I was spending it alone. I realize there are tons of people in this world who spend anniversaries apart from their significant others/spouses for reasons far worse and heartwrenching than mine, but I was still sad. Needless to say, I didn't do anything besides go to the gym that day. I couldn't really bear it, especially because he wasn't even able to get out early and arrived home around 6:30 PM. But he came home bestowing two dozen gorgeous pink and white roses in honor of the occasion claiming there was one rose "for every day we've been together." It's been a while since he's brought home flowers, so I was beside myself. And the card he gave me was just absolutely beautiful so it made up for it a little.

So it's been two years. And I am so lucky to have him. I really am. Not only did he completely save me from myself, but he is just the most amazing person in the world. So it consistently baffles me at how completely ridiculous I can be. I like to think that it's just because I come from crazy argumentative women and was trained to be on edge and defensive. I seriously hope that's the case, and I'm not just crazy. Because I hate that I do things sometimes that make me go, "Jaime, why the hell are you mad at him? Seriously?" I also think my job has something to do with it as well. Literally, for 9 hours a day, I have to be on the defense. I have subcontractors and insurance agents down my back blaming me for whatever's wrong with their insurance certificate. Somehow it's MY fault that they never responded to my request for revision three months ago and now their paycheck is being held for insufficient insurance. It's MY fault that their insurance does not meet our requirements when they signed a subcontract that explicitly highlights our requirements in depth. I'm the mean spirited Wicked Witch of the West, and they're just poor innocent little Dorothy who's just trying to find her way home, and I'm sending out my flying monkeys to inhibit that from happening (this being a metaphor for payment, obviously). I'm not making excuses. I'm just trying to ascertain the origin of my projections. I'm hoping that my outlook and attitude changes once I change jobs, but in the interim, I seriously need to step it up. Steve goals need to be addressed because I don't need two crazy people in the house, and it's not his fault that I'm painted green at work.

Also last week, I started my classes!!! This is huge. HUGE! So I'm not going to lie, it was strange. Going back was just surreal. Going back to the place I did undergrad was even more surreal. So much so, I felt the need to tell the girl in the bookstore I had already graduated and was just taking a supplemental program. I am not an undergrad, thank you very much. Even though I probably look it. Hell, I probably look like I'm in high school. But everyone should know that appearance is not everything. Anyway, I drive to campus, which is weird in and of itself. I felt like a mega tool driving up and parking on Comm Ave. Like, no one drives. Well, the rich study abroad foreign students do. They drive their BMW's around campus, which is equally toolish. So when I drive up with my Saturn, I feel even more like a tool. WHATEVER. I am not an undergrad. I am not an undergrad. Or that's what I kept saying to myself to feel less intimidated as the actual undergrads are walking by. Yes, I am the 25 year old who's still intimidated by people younger than she or her age when they're in my vicinity in groups. Utterly ridiculous, I know.

So, I'm already a little nervous for my first class for the obvious reason of having been out of school for four years. Compound that with the fact that my class is in the Fuller Building. A building that NO ONE ever uses, and I myself had only ever been in once. I walk in and look at the floor plan, hoping to see the elusive "Lab #2" where my class is being held. Much to my dismay, it is not listed. Of course. After walking up and down the hall like three times, I finally use my powers of deduction to theorize where this "Lab #2" may be. BU likes to number its classrooms based on floor numbers. So maybe, just maybe, "Lab #2" is on the second floor. I ascend. I reach the second floor, and my elated hopes at seeing a live person who may know where I need to go are deflated as she looks at me like I have eight heads when I mention elusive "Lab #2." I meander some more. Thank God I had the presence of mind to allow myself time to get lost. I eventually happen upon a Computer Science PC Lab area, but my class is not listed anywhere on the boards indicating up-and-coming classes to be held there. I inquire with some more live people next door who suggest I ask the on-duty lab assistant, who assures me that my class is in fact there. I am not persuaded. Only at 5:55 when the instructor arrived was I assured I was where I was supposed to be. Glad to see BU hasn't changed in four years.

I knew going in, this was going to be my most difficult course. Graphic Design. Crap. Part of what works so famously about Steve and I is that he's the visual one. He's an architect, so he's visually conceptual. I'm the verbal one. I'm a writer. I love words. So the notion of Graphic Design is like Hell. I would honestly rather due mathematical equations than design shit on the computer. Class 1 was rough. Learning the interface of InDesign CS4. WTF is that?! And what's worse, the barely English speaking Asian man sits next to me and decides to ask me and the girl sitting on his other side every time he got lost or confused. I'm sorry buddy, but this class is like my nightmare, and I REALLY need to pay attention. I left the class still kinda excited, but a little deflated. Thank God it's only 7 weeks, and there's 1 down. Six more weeks . . .

Thursday I was revived. First of all, the class is in CAS. Oh CAS. We meet again. Second of all, as sad as I am that the food cart in the basement is no longer, there is an Einstein Brothers bagel shop there instead. Hello large fountain Diet Mountain Dew!!! Third of all, the class is TOTALLY my speed. It is "Business of Publishing." Lecture. Notetaking. Discussion. YES!!! Notes!!! I LOVE taking notes. OMG. I'm like a masochist. Notes make me feel better. Words. Joyousness. And I learned A LOT in my first class. Not only that, but I got really excited about my final project. The instructor gave us five options for our final projects. One of which being designing a business plan for a subscription-based magazine. Dude! I can so use this course as a vehicle for my future career choices. I can do my final project about the magazine I want to create! How perfect! I left class that night on cloud nine. This will be ok. I'll be ok. I will not let Graphic Design get me!

My only issue is my workout regiment. I hate having my days off be my class days. Since I obviously can't go to the gym on Tues and Thurs, I had to manipulate my workout schedule on the alternate 5 days, which works out fine for Mon and Wed. But Fri is tough. Friday was always Steve and my flub day. We're both tired and unmotivated on Fri. Needless to say, we didn't go to the gym Fri, so I had to double up Sat, and that meant I had three days off last week, not two, which doesn't bode well with me. I also have been thinking, what the hell am I going to do when I have stuff going on on weekends where I can't get to the gym? Obviously, I'll have to work around it. It's just going to be really tough. And I thought today about maybe doing combination days when I'm in school, but I hate combination days. I feel like I don't make enough progress. I'll just have to play it by ear I guess. And just try and be REALLY good at my eating to counter it. So much to do!!!

And lastly, as a random sum up, no, I haven't made any doctor's appointments yet. And no, I haven't been going to bed earlier. I know. I know. BUT I am making progress financially. I should have my credit card paid off by March (yay!) and the second one not long after, with the help of my tax return. Come on Cigna and send my proof of health insurance already!!! I hate having all these forms. Oh well, another week begins!

2010 Blog: Post Two

So today was rough. I woke up groggy and in extreme denial of morning (largely due to the fact that, surprise surprise!, I did not go to bed early last night. I can tell this is going to be the most difficult goal to attain). Not to mention, I was in the middle of a really weird dream involving a rather odd game of cards in an igloo-like structure that had me scouring plans and overloaded with plastic penguin figurines. I truly have no idea. Anyway, yes, the day started off sluggish. I found myself at the vending machine well before noon in order to acquire the joyously highly caffeinated Diet Mountain Dew can that was released to me in its glorious neon green splendor. Hello, Dew! On top of that, my inbox continually refilled itself with incoming messages as soon as I cleared out an old one. Quite frustrating if you ask me. Not to mention, my productivity this week has been sub par due to extraneous tasks overloading my "To Do" list inhibiting me from getting to my work. Oh, and additionally, apparently 2010 is turning into the year of the telephone. You see, I am a firm believer in e-mail. I LOVE e-mail. As a self-proclaimed rogue loner (due to my only child syndrome), I avoid direct human contact at all costs. This includes telephonic communication. I love the impersonal, non-immediate, non-confrontational aspect of e-mail. Well, this year, no one seems to be taking my hint of strictly e-mail communication because I have gotten more phone calls in the past week-and-a-half than I care to get in a year. And today, the phone call influx continued. There was more, but I'll spare the details and work toward getting to the point. So I was rather irritable by the time I got into my freezing cold vehicle for my homeward journey. Thank God the commute home was not bad, because I don't think I could have taken Boston traffic today. Though, my phone call in to Mix 104.1 that landed me on the radio was kinda fun. Anyway, I pull up in my driveway tired, ravenous, and still a little perturbed, grab my mail, and proceed up the walk. And there, on the stoop, resides this little package of joy taking the form of small white box. The funny thing is, I see the box and got mad excited. I knew I was expecting something, and of course it had my name on it, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it was! I scramble inside trying to control my bags (yes, everyone knows I'm the bag lady) and the mail while dodging the cat who's at my feet, rubbing my legs and nudging me with her head. I finally get everything out, take out the scissors, and slice the now fragile tape holding in the contents of the box. And there it was. The proverbial Heavenly "Ahhhhhhhhh!" in which the sun shines, breaking through the white, fluffy cumulus as the golden gates burst open welcoming all who wish to enter. My study materials from the ISSA have arrived!!! :) Materials include:
1 Fitness Text (all 772 pages of it. That's A LOT of fitness!)
1 Workbook
1 Studyguide
Course quizzes/practice examination
Faqs/Explanations
AND 1 Fitness Applications DVD

And what's funny is, when I started perusing the materials when I got home from the gym, I kinda saw it, ya know? Like wow, this could be reality. My career ideas could be A CAREER. Career. There's that funny word that always seems to apply to everyone else, but never to me. Do you ever find that? Aging is funny because as a child, you watch adults. You see their lives. You're taught all these things. You have all these hopes and dreams. You want to grow up and be a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a pilot. Have a career. Get married. As a girl, I always dreamed of getting married. Omg I'd dress up, I'd make up pretend fiances (they usually took the form of whatever actor I was crushing on at the time. I swear, at one point, Leo DiCaprio and I were MADLY and torridly in love. I digress.), we'd have this extravagant wedding and go to some exotic locale on our honeymoon (me and Leo, that is). And there I was, in my mind, the Marine Biologist, successful (at the time I had no idea Marine Biologists made shit, but that's not the point) and married to yet another successful person with a career. And there we were, this successful, careered, married couple. And that was life. But it wasn't real. But this box . . . the contents of this box represent the reality of that fantasy. Holy shit, it could really happen to me. I could really be that successful careerwoman. And the box's arrival today brings me one step closer. I guess that's the whole point of my post today. I'm one step closer with something. And I'm stoked.

And not to be remiss, but getting back to my sluggish day. So, yes, the arrival of the box was paramount. But I was still upset from my day and everything else. So much so, today was a struggle to go to the gym day. One where if Steve wasn't home, I don't know that I would have gone. Even when I got there, I was like, ugh, seriously? And it was just shoulder day for crying out loud! My easiest day! But I sat down on the shoulder press after my bike warm-up and started lifting. By the time I was done with that and moved onto the free weights, I was in my groove (it also helped that by that time, my heart rate was up, so I was much warmer than when I first arrived). And with the help of Jesse (McCartney), NKOTB, and the cast of Glee, I sorta rocked it. And then I got on the elliptical and banged it out (rather impressive considering it's post leg day and that's always rough on the cardio). Seventy minutes of elliptical later, I was feeling better. Endorphins, people. Go out there and release 'em! But I'm still going to bed late. Oh well. We'll try for tomorrow!

2010 Blog: Day one

This year marks quite a few benchmarks: a new decade for this millenium, a chance for people to leave the last decade behind and venture forward with new, hopefully better opportunities. For me, this year marks the transition into the next phase of my life. I will turn 26 (I've decided this is much worse than 25), the age that's on the downward slope of the mid-20s hill. The first of my friends got engaged, so this year will be full of wedding planning. Wow. My friends and I are now at marrying age. Inconceivable. Along those lines, my "eventual" wedding, that not so long ago was 4+ years off, is now down to 3. Which means, I seriously need to get busy. Get busy working toward my career. Get busy paying off my debt and saving toward the important events in my life. Get busy taking care of me so I actually have a life to work toward. Oh the pressure! With those events in mind, I have devised an outline to follow as I embark on my voyage deeper into my own adventure known as adulthood. Ergo:

1. Health:
a. Get thee to the surgery:
1a. Dentist
2a. Regular Physician
3a. Eye Doctor
b. Physical Fitness:
1b. Achieve maximum fitness level, i.e. get down to goal Body Fat Percentage (BFP): 14%
2b. Adopt "Clean Eating" as a lifestyle, not just when I'm home
3b. GO TO BED EARLIER!!! (As I write this, I am currently not succeeding as it is 11:00 PM, and I should have been in bed 30 minutes ago. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.)

2. Career:
a. Complete Publishing Course
b. Begin studying for Personal Training Certification (the goal this year is not necessarily to achieve full certification. If it is feasible, excellent. If not, that's fine. I just want to get the ball rolling.)
c. Ascertain definitive career path and secure position in that field.

3. Finances
a. PAY OFF CREDIT CARDS!
b. Establish savings for:
1b. Annual Vacation Funding
2b. Wedding

4. Relationship.
a. Try to be more understanding and less argumentative
b. Try to be more communicative
c. Make sure Steve knows I love him every day through actions, not words.

There it is. 2010. To date I have enrolled in the Publishing program and ordered my Personal Training (PT)study materials. Publishing classes start next Tuesday, and I should receive the PT materials this week. It's not much, but it's a start. Let's see what tomorrow brings . . .